Hey peeps! First off, it’s really super of you to show up to my little corner of the internet like this to meet my little superheroes. You’re super. You’re super peeps! So just for you, I’ve started to hunt around for gear and gear tips–things that nerdy, awesome people and superheroes might get.
Like self-defense gear. I really want to encourage my peeps to be armed, with something, at all times, whether you want to be a superhero or not–at least to get in that aware mindset so you’re paying attention to danger, and ready to fight it, rather than freezing up and giving in.
Have you heard of these?
This first thing I want to highlight, not so much as some amazing self-defense item (it’s okay), but rather as an example of where a real teenager could get superpowers. Remember in Skye’s origin story, where he buys electric gauntlets, which become the basis for Robot-man’s later design for his powered shock suit?
These are the gauntlets I was thinking of.
They work in the story–and, presumably, in real life–because they’re not something most people have even heard of, so you can really surprise someone with your punch. They’re non-lethal to anyone without a heart condition, and you’re less likely to drop them because they’re ON your hands. I’d love a pair of these.
Major con to the gauntlets, though? Distance. Taser batons are nice because they give you that reach advantage so you’re not terribly compromised before you’re defending yourself. Also, I feel like if you’re clumsy or just a little bit stupid you might shock yourself with the gauntlets putting them on. I think the gauntlets are more suited to superhero gear than to ordinary self-defense, honestly; I could imagine put them on to go out to patrol in a bad area if I were looking for trouble.*
If you want a taser baton, instead, I’d recommend checking out Damsel in Defense (even if you’re not a damsel). They’ve got a whole range of nice long ones (mmm) that deliver enough of a shock to literally freeze someone up for a few seconds. Their shock supposedly ruins the calcium-release cycle of your muscle fibers so you literally can’t move, but in real life it’s more like a temporary pain, and your attacker can still move all the muscles you didn’t stun enough to do beat you upside the face, so don’t expect this to grant you a magical win. It’s just there to level the playing field.
Still, people like these batons better than real Tasers–which are the actual guns you see on TV where you shoot a shock-y fiber at someone–because it’s not throwing someone into an epileptic seizure, and for a lot of guys it’s enough surprise that your’e actually stopping them. Also, if you can’t aim, your attacker’s not going to wait for you while you re-load the Taser cartridge you shot past them onto the floor. Real Tasers are more powerful and deadly, but also way more clumsy and expensive.
Damsel in Defense is a pretty cool company because they have a lot of other projects that are “superhero-“y and all disguised and what-not…
Gotcha Stun Gun
…Like this gun, which is a camera that is not actually a camera but a thing you can shock a guy with!
Like the Taser Baton, the Gotcha Camera is actually a kind of stun gun. If you’re thinking about stun weapons at all, you should check out this review by a martial artist online–it’s not well-produced, but it gets the point across–just to hammer home what I said above: this weapon won’t save you. If you get a stun gun, your advantage isn’t in the strength of your weapon but in the element of surprise, which is why I love disguised weapons like the Gotcha. You want to make him wonder what the heck is going on, and use that confusion to help you get away or get the upper hand. It often comes down to this: are you worth the trouble attacking? Try to make him decide no.
And if he decides yes? You have to hurt him very, very badly, or you will be robbed, raped, or killed.
Yeah that got dark fast. Yay, let’s go back to talking about spark-y toys that hurt people.
For real, that’s what I’m talking about here. I want to give you a little more than just a bunch of superhero jpegs and product mentions. What are we going to do to stay safer, ourselves, and help each other stay safer?
It’s something to think about.
See you next time, SuperPeeps.
(*Disclaimer: I am not looking for trouble. Even if I say I am, I am not, and I am not encouraging you to do so either. Blablabla don’t sue me if you get yourself killed doing something stupid. It is SUPER stupid to put electric gauntlets on your hands and then go out to some dangerous neighborhood looking for a fight. The more you know, the safer you are. Know things.)